The shower has been running for at least 15 minutes. The water is ice cold now.

Because instead of getting in, I did what I always do—I got distracted.

It started with a simple plan. I was going to take a nice, long shower. The kind that makes showering once a week feel justified. Because if you don’t shower every day, the logic (or what ADHD calls logic) is: make it count when you do.

But then my brain hijacked the whole thing.

“I should poop first.” (Okay, reasonable.)

“Might as well scroll my phone for a minute.” (Classic mistake.)

“Oh wait, I had a good idea for a blog post—let me jot that down.”

“Wait. That’s actually a great idea.”

“I should write it out now before I forget.”

And now here I am. On the toilet. With the shower running. Water cold. Fully committed to writing this post about how I avoided dealing with my hernia for nine months.

Because ADHD does this.

It turns basic tasks into mentally overcomplicated endurance tests. It makes you feel like you’re making a logical choice—like planning for a long, luxurious shower so you can justify showering less often—but in reality, you’re just burning through all the hot water because you hate showering.

And that’s exactly how I avoided getting my hernia checked for nine months.

—

How ADHD Made Me Delay My Own Health for No Good Reason

I knew my hernia was bad. I knew it wasn’t going to magically go away. But ADHD is a master at avoidance. Not the kind where you just say, “I don’t feel like it.” No, ADHD’s avoidance is sophisticated. It gives you real-sounding reasons why putting something off is the responsible thing to do.

Excuses I Used to Justify Doing Nothing

“Insurance is a nightmare.”
(Yeah, but I had insurance. I just didn’t want to deal with making the call.)

“Doctors are booked out for months anyway.”
(Also true. But the only way to get on a schedule is to actually book an appointment.)

“Nina’s schedule is unpredictable. I can’t afford to book an appointment and then cancel.”
(Parenting a kid with ASD means flexibility is key, but I was using her as an excuse.)

“What if I have the surgery, and Nina jumps on me before I heal?”
(This was my biggest fear. Nina doesn’t gently interact with me. She full-body launches herself at me like she’s trained with the WWE. The idea of going through the pain of surgery, only for her to accidentally re-tear it and force me back into another surgery? Yeah. That was terrifying.)

The problem?

These weren’t fake excuses. They all had some truth to them.

But they weren’t stopping me. I was stopping me.

—

The ADHD Avoidance Cycle in Action

1. The Task Appears.
I should probably call a doctor about my hernia.

2. The Rationalization.
Eh, I’ll do it tomorrow when I have more time.

3. The Mental Blocking.
I’ve got too much going on right now. I’ll call next week.

4. The Justification.
Doctors are booked out anyway, so what’s the rush?

5. The Fear Kicks In.
What if Nina jumps on me and makes it worse before I even get to surgery?

6. The Guilt Spiral.
Damn, I still haven’t called. Now it’s been so long that it’s embarrassing to call. What if they ask why I waited?

7. The Avoidance Loops Back to Step 1.
I’ll just deal with it later.

And before I knew it, nine months had passed, and my hernia was now a daily, inescapable source of pain.

—

What Finally Made Me Stop the Cycle?

Pain.

That’s it. That’s the answer. The pain finally got bad enough that avoidance wasn’t an option anymore.

Sitting hurt. Standing hurt. Lifting hurt. Breathing wrong hurt. And suddenly, the thing I had been avoiding for nearly a year felt like the easier option.

So I picked up my phone, called the doctor, got scheduled, and just like that… it was done.

One five-minute phone call.

Nine months of excuses—undone in five minutes.

—

What I Learned (The Hard Way, Again)

My ADHD brain lies to me. It makes simple tasks feel impossible, and it convinces me that delaying is the responsible choice.

The longer I wait, the worse it gets. Pain doesn’t go away just because I ignore it. Neither does paperwork. Or bills. Or life.

I have to outsmart my own brain. If I wait until I feel like doing something, it’ll never get done. I have to set up systems, external reminders, and accountability to trick myself into taking action sooner.

The Next Time I Catch Myself Doing This…

Will I avoid something else in the future? Of course. ADHD doesn’t just go away. But maybe next time, I won’t let it drag out for nine months.

So, if you’re sitting on something right now—an appointment, a task, a decision—this is your sign.

Just make the damn call.

—

Final Thought: My Shower is Still Running.

By the way, I still haven’t gotten in the shower.

Because I got distracted writing this post.

Now I have two problems—cold water and self-awareness.

ADHD, man. It’s a hell of a ride.

Justin B - Mar 16 2025