Bad friend guilt

There is a time in life when your friends are your everything. You go to school to see your friends from junior kindergarten until high school…I mean and to learn of course but mostly to socialize. When you leave school and move out on your own you get to have your friends over and party and hang out as much as you want! Then you meet that special guy and the next few years are fun and full of stag and does, engagement parties, bachlorette parties and weddings. You are surrounded by friends.

Then comes your first baby and the partying slows, the visits lessen because they don’t want to bother you and the new baby. You don’t go out as much because, lets face it, who wants a hang over when you have a small baby at home. The outings become more and more sparse as your family grows and the large group of friends that surrounded you every weekend gets smaller and smaller.

This is no blame game. Certainly understandable. When you have a sizeable group of pals these things happen. It is almost impossible for everyone to be at the same stages at the same time. I’ve had great friends, good friends and not so good friends in my life. Some have come and gone and come back again..or not come back again. I miss the times i’ve had and the people they were and I am constantly reminding myself to message them or go visit. Some may think it isn’t friendship if you have to force yourself to remember to call or visit but as a mom who sometimes forgets to put on deodorant, or to put a diaper back on the baby or even to put the coffee cup under the coffee maker…even something as important as socializing is a task. I think for the most part people understand life is busy, at least thats what I tell myself, but the friendships that have slipped through the cracks or are currently slipping, haunt my dreams.

You may get back to those times in your life where you didn’t have a care in the world and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning…or you might not and thats ok too. We evolve and so do our friendships. Some are in for the long haul and some were there for a time in your life that you needed them to be.

The moral of the story is, don’t be so hard on yourself…chances are if you pick up the phone tomorrow your friends would be there for you in a heartbeat!

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